Everything we do each day speaks about who we are. We do the best we can raising our children to become well adjusted, responsible, productive adults. Why then, even when we attempt to model the best behavior and provide our children with all the guidance and tools to make the most out of their lives, do some of them make choices that sometimes are impossible or nearly impossible from which to recover? Who is this person who has just committed some crime against the progress of their life’s potential after we spent our energy setting them up for a bright future? How much are we, as parent, responsible for what they do? We want to take credit for the accomplishments and we endure a lifetime of guilt for the things they do wrong to themselves, other people or society. But are we unjustly sentencing ourselves with parental guilt?
Yes, I believe we are. In my work with people’s energetic imbalances, I have seen that children pull back from their parents to learn about themselves anytime after age 9. Those that don’t, and parental guidance becomes fear based control to which the child’s disposition submits, often suffer in the long run. This is an important time for a child as they are embarking on their life’s journey which involves turning on DNA linked traits that may not be what is expected. In a recent study by Emory University reported on by Nature and Scientific American magazines in 2013 we see that science is actually beginning to see what energy healers have seen for decades, maybe longer.
The study determined that fears, and other emotions, can be inherited through generations. The DNA isn’t altered, the researchers say but their expression is. This study makes us question just how much of our ancestors traits, behaviors, beliefs and suppressed emotions can be inherited. From an energetic standpoint there is no question that these stressors can be inherited because energy stays in a certain pattern until it is deliberately changed by choice. Energy holds matter in place so that if the DNA exists for a certain condition, the energy holding cells of the proteins making up the DNA can and do hold information that will influence the expression of the gene.
My mother used to say about the child bearing and rearing process that, “You never know what you are going to get.” Of course, she was referring to the biological fact that genes from both sets of ancestors mix together and that each egg and sperm will carry different genetics. They aren’t the result of cookie cutters. She was more correct than she realized at the time.
We are all aware of the fears surrounding genetic mutations that occur during gestation to create physical or mental abnormalities. If that isn’t enough to worry about, now we have reason to believe that more than just biological information is traveling across more than two generations to manifest for better or worse in the child we conceive. Traumatic or stressful experiences and their associated feelings and behaviors can be passed down generation to generation according to the study.
We already know that if a parent with addiction issues raises a child that there is a high probability of those behaviors, whether or not they use the same substance, will manifest in the behavior of their children. This is the environmental influence through modeling. Even if we tell our children not to do something that we do, they listen to our behavior, read our energetic imbalance, and do not listen to our words. Children are like dogs, they “smell” fear or any other emotion and they act on it. But now we can see how a child can become an addict even if they have had little to no (because they died before they were born) exposure to someone in their family who was an addict.
This study puts a new spin on what we should hold ourselves responsible for after we have done the very best we can with what we had for them; after age 9. Psychological research indicates that age 10 is the tipping point; after that a child is more influenced by peers than parents. Therefore, the opportunity for some latent traumatic or stressful experience to be triggered, from the package of their inherited physical traits and their expression via mental and emotional patterns, increases. All college biology 101 students, since the discovery of the entire human genome, learn that choices turn on genes. We can have a gene for a disease but unless we make certain choices the gene will not turn on. If you have a specific gene for a condition, there is no certainty that you will develop the disease.
At age 9 it is difficult to imagine that your child is now old enough to begin his or his life’s journey. There are things that happened to you that no one could have predicted or stopped. These are the deeper life lessons that we must all, including our children embark on sooner than we might think necessary. Children don’t seem to take responsibility for their lives until they are 25 or 30, the way they did 50 years ago because parents, afraid of the world’s effect on their child, continue to shelter them long after age 9 rather than looking at them as unique person with a journey and life lessons ahead. By age 14 in 1950 you were focused and taking responsibility for your life. You were not treated like a child but like a young adult and expected to behave accordingly. In many cultures 14 year olds get married. We have a few things we can do as parents to end or prevent the guilt but this study from Emory University will help give us a push.
I have seen and felt the difference between the strength of the vortex of the process of changing the energetic groundwork of behaviors we subconsciously learned via parental modeling versus those that are linked to some generation before. The difference between them is the behaviors learned from parents is much easier to change by changing the energy underneath the behavior. It feels like it requires several large cranes to pull someone from the vortex of poor choices when they come from a previous generation. Indeed, it is quite a feat to even be able to identify that this is the situation belying the desire to maintain a behavior that isn’t serving us. It’s not impossible to do, it just takes more focus, patience and time. This is because the energy has been in place over more than one generation. It will take time to unravel the various tentacles from the original traumatic experience down into how it created a framework for parents’ and grandparents’ lives and then how it has created seemingly inextricable patterns of existence for our life. It makes it appear as if there is “no choice” about the need for the behavior that isn’t serving us and from which we desire healing.
How do we do this? It is the body-mind connection and fascial memory storage systems– all energy based systems–within us which need addressing via the Mirror of Relationships (see previous blog) and other tools I use with my clients in order to begin to shed light and transform these energies to their positive state.
My most recent training with the energetic arts (mediumship, trance,) provides an energy transfer to the client via Universal Energy that assists the client in the course of a session of ESRT or One Brain, with the additional push they need to resolve some aspect of the energy block. These ancestral blocks held by or with the DNA, take a little time to break down, as it would actually be too stressful to dissolve the block all at once, in one session. These blocks are the foundation for our way of thinking, believing and behaving and to blast through a block is the equivalent of pulling the rug out from under us and is therefore not something that nature would allow as it would be harmful due to the amount of upheaval it would create. Each facet of the block is gently processed and transformed, as each emotional, mental and physical aspect of it is brought to the surface, revealed and transformed in the gentlest way possible.
If you are reading this blog up to this point then you have the ability to understand and process this sort of energetic block. The majority of our culture is still unable to even perceive these blocks never mind take an active role in transforming them.
The good news is that if you can read and understand this then you are able to begin to release yourself from the guilt if your child is one of those that has made some choices about which you feel guilt. End it there. It is their path which has resulted from the their inherited ancestral trauma has upon the life they are uniquely living in 2016. Certainly talk to them, offer them options for dealing with their internal conflicts from these inherited issues but mostly hand them their lives. Getting on their path, sooner rather than later, with less and less influence from us as parent, is to their benefit. We can’t stop what is it their inherited genetic predisposition to learn from. It isn’t our life, we were only the vehicle for their entrance into the world.
Do you find it difficult to take a hands off approach with your teen? Do you have trouble releasing the guilt that makes you endlessly worried about the path of your adult child and how you see it turning out? Then a series of One Brain or ESRT sessions may help you rebalance your focus in order to maintain connection without unconsciously putting out controlling vibes and provide peace of mind for you and your child, adult or not..
Author: Bethann Vetter
Bethann Vetter is a Holistic Therapist, Medium and Teacher. She uses frequency balancing tools via her Mediumship in Trance skills to locate and provide the frequencies your unique set of imbalances requires. She uses her own subtle energy body technique, Epigenetic Reprogramming to help you clear subconscious level blocks. Frequency Specific Microcurrent is used for specific cellular level healing. Classes are available in active meditation skills such as mediumship and trance healing skills. Trance Healing sessions called QHHT© are also offered. Her frequency balancing ability works similar to the way Edgar Cayce worked. She tunes in to your issues and provides you with the necessary information, substances you might need as well as adjusting your frequency to a higher harmonic level. Her work is done by appointment only at a distance or in her office in Jacksonville Beach, FL.